The TP, also known as The Toilet Paper, went online December 8, 1997. Since then, we have achieved nothing.
Actually, thatís not entirely true. Since launching the TP, we have masturbated an ungodly amount. More than you are probably prepared to believe. More even, then our readers.
But our sex life is irrelevant. You see, the TP is on a mission. We have one singular purpose Ė A copy of the TP in every bathroom stall. Thatís right, every stall.
To do this, we need your help. Your duty as a TP enthusiast is to print and post the TP in all bathrooms you frequent. Regardless of what the warden says. Think of what a wonderful surprise it will be for your buddies to see the TP next time they rush to defecate.
So please, if you use the bathroom or you know someone who does, print out the TP and tape it up in your local stall. Help us rid the world of banal restrooms. Your co-workers, dorm-mates, and life-partner will thank you. I thank you.
John T. Cross
Vague, Imaginary Messianic Figure
Joe Steinberger††††††††††††††††† Bryan Kocol
††† ††††TP Editor In Chief††††††††††††††† TP Freedom Fighter