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The Aw Yeah! page is updated once a week and contains material that is far too experimental or unstable for the more normal confines of The Toilet Paper. This week's edition of Aw Yeah! is....

 

WWW.WHO-OWNS-WHAT.COM 
All the best domain names and who’s got ‘em. Note: You won’t be able to visit all of these addresses; many of them are just reserved as their owners patiently bide their time before unveiling them to the world…

www.x.com – Weinstein & DePaolis of Scotts Valley, CA.  Reserved on April 2, 1993, ie. Five years ago. Not only did these guys have the foresight to reserve the simplest name on the net, but they saved us from some idiot, marketing bastard writing "X MARKS THE SPOT!!!" all over the stupid page.

www.jesus.com – Second Coming Multimedia Publications of Arlington, VA

www.allah.com – Mosque of the Internet of Tesuque, NM

www.billclinton.com – Cortrade International of Huntington Beach, CA.

www.lint.com – Logical Internet Technology of Sandy, UT - Damn these guys are cool.

www.dirt.com – American Dirt Network of Santa Fe, NM – Damn these guys are not.

www.bellybutton.com – Prodomains of Terral, OK. See the concept here is a few jerks realized that even though they were stuck in Terral, Oklahoma, they could still buy up lots of cool names and hold them ransom. What really irks me is one of these companies got www.joe.com. Bastards!

www.whatever.com – DomainMarketing of Redwood City, CA.  Same URLnapping, ransom thing again. Whatever. I feel like I’ve been raped.

www.raped.com – National A-1 Advertising of Philadelphia, PA (the city of brotherly love.)  Attention all congresspeople.   Someone up on the Hill needs to introduce legislation barring any company with "A-1" in their name from incorporating. They just don’t do things that make sense.

www.microsoft.com – Still available!

www.antichrist.com – Microsoft Corporation of Redmond, WA.   (So that was obviously just an unfunny, cheap joke.  WWW.microsoft.com really belongs to Satan of The Underworld.  Also,   www.antichrist.com goes to Interchrist of Des Moines, IA)

Interestingly enough, www.radicalextremistconspiracygroup.com also hails from Des Moines. What’s going on out there anyway?

(Note: This web address does not actually exist because the people who wanted it were too dum (sic) to spell it correctly. www.antichrist.com, however, does exist, and will continue to exist until the year 2000 when all hell breaks loose.)

http://prop1.org/protest/elijah/nature.htm – Some dude we met this weekend who hasn’t worn shoes since 1981, a shirt since 1982 and pants since 1983 (he wears a loincloth). You can’t really hold it against him for having a shitty URL if he’s been naked for 15 years.

www.thetp.com/ypyramid.htm - Yes, as a matter of fact The Toilet Paper does sponsor the messiah's website.  Sort of.   See, I (I being Joe, TP Editor in Chief, not the I as in "I, God" or anything) met Wayne on the beach in Venice, CA.  Wayne believes, perhaps rightly, perhaps not, that he is the conduit of the Lord's message.  He shows up every day to speak to the people.  He's so sincere that I decided to give him a website.  The messiah can be contacted through me - mailto:editor@thetp.com

www.shiitemuslim.com – Attention Shiite Muslim’s, there’s still time to grab your domain name! (Act fast because the NameShop Corporation of Lake Mary, FL already nabbed www.shiite.com.

www.loser.com – Winners and Losers of Columbia, SC. When you visit this page you’re informed that, "You’ve finally found your home on the internet – loser.com."  How cute.

www.love.com – Salzinger Marketing Inc. of Vienna VA.  Figures.

www.orgasm.com - Creative Media Productions of Budapest, Hungary. Why Budapest? We don’t know.

Sorry Hitler Fans, you didn’t act fast enough:

www.adolfhitler.com – Signet Photo Publishing of Colchester, Essex England. (Created the day before Christmas)

www.hilter.com – Net Marketing of Montreal, Quebec

www.hitleryouth.com – Bruce M. Waldack of Alexandria, VA.  Question, Bruce, why didn't you register this domain under some bogus corporate name?  Honestly, that was stupid.

www.meinkampf.com – Mein Kampf Info of Stockholm, SE (I suppose that’s how one abbreviates Sweden…learn something new every day).

www.finalsolution.com – DMA Digital Solutions of Newark, DE. (Think these guys made the connection?)

www.hitlerisadork.com – Act now! Still available.

www.jew.com – Jewish Communications Network of New York, NY. That was a smart defensive move, I’d say.

Censorship On The Net?

www.fuck.com, www.fuckme.com, www.fuckit.com. Interestingly enough, none of these domains are taken. Not like pornography is a driving force behind the internet or anything silly like that. Not like these names are memorable. Not like 80% of the wired population, at some point in their miserable, boring lives will be compelled by forces beyond their control to type www.fuck.com. Hmmm.

www.shit.com Globecom Inc. of New York, NY.  In all fairness, we do have to point out that www.shit.com does exist. Once again hijacked by a lame domain stealer. Sigh.

www.toiletpaper.com – Procter & Gamble of Cincinnati, OH. (Bastards beat us to it.)

 

Thanks for reading.  Thoughts?  mailto:thoughts@thetp.com

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